Irony is writing an entire column decrying the practice of dating younger guys, then finding yourself, ahem, dating a younger guy. “I vow never to date a younger guy. 24, 27, 32 — those are fine. 20? No. Not gonna happen.”

Yeahh … about that. Well, 20 didn’t happen. 19 did.

Irony is making the assumption that a wizened dater such as myself could never have anything in common with a lowly and unproven freshman, then letting such a freshman prove me wrong.

Remember my Valentine’s Day love experiment? I certainly didn’t take young Tom seriously — after all, he was three years my junior! Well, I still don’t take Tom seriously (sorry, Tom), but now I’m beginning to think that three years isn’t the insurmountable obstacle I once thought it to be.  After all, if 30-year-old Gwyneth Paltrow can date a 26-year-old, I can probably handle a similar age differential. And don’t worry, Tom — you’ll find a May-December relationship of your own one day.

Irony is mercilessly harassing “poor little freshman” who “haven’t quite perfected the art of Booty Calling. ‘Um, I think, uh, it might be good … um … if you came over. And you could see my room! Yeah. So what do you think?’”

… and then finding yourself doing the walk of shame with a smile, all the way home from New South.

Irony is breaking every one of The Rules you advocated for the last two years.

Rule 5) “Don’t Get Involved Too Quickly”
Um, yes, that rule went out the window when we decided to be exclusive seven whole days into the relationship.

Rule 8) “Don’t Call Him”
Also failed. I’ve had to upgrade my cell phone plan. It’s a problem.

Rule 9) “Don’t Accept a Saturday Night Date After Wednesday”
“The key here” I wrote back then, “is to emphasize the fact that you’re not just a plaything who will join him on five minutes notice … You will think that he’s phoning you at 2 a.m. Friday night because he’s madly in love with you and needs to hold your hand while strolling along a beach right then. You will be wrong.”

Let’s see. He first called on a Friday evening for a date 24 hours later. He got turned down. Julia – 1, Future Boyfriend – 0. It went downhill from there. After our first date the following Thursday, he wanted to see me the next day … and the next … Five minutes notice? No problem! Three weeks later I got a call at 4 — not even 2 — a.m., and I concluded that yes, he was madly in love with me and needed to hold my hand while strolling down a beach. Except I wasn’t wrong. I know this because he happened to be on a beach right then, and it wasn’t within Booty Call Range.

And here’s where irony really struck — and how I really knew I was in trouble. I broke Rule 4) “Don’t Pay. Ever.”

That’s right … I voluntarily contributed money for a meal. GASP.

My friends were beside themselves, worrying that I had gone off the deep end. “Don’t worry,” I tried to reassure them, “I won’t join the Cult of the Boyfriend.” Distinguished by the “him, him, him, it’s all about him” domination of conversation and thoughts, the inseparable “there goes Mike-and-Jen” joined at the hip 24-7 behavior, an unrelenting urge to make mix tapes featuring Celine Dion and George Michael, the Cult of the Boyfriend has stolen numerous friends from me. Months later they’ll reemerge, scarred, bitter and prone to long winded stories about how The Ex used to do this and The Ex used to say that, but they don’t care because they’re totally over him and oh-my-god, is that his new girlfriend?? Is she thinner than they are?!?

Contrary to every teen magazine on the newsstands, that sad state isn’t an obligatory part of couple-hood.

While I still believe what I wrote back in October: “casually dating multiple people is an excellent way to hedge your bets — it broadens your dating portfolio,” I’ve started to come around to another perspective. My methodical, rules-bound “dating with a lowercase ‘d’” blinded me to the full range of possibilities, to the point where I looked right past someone who could make me ecstatically happy because he didn’t exactly match my demographic profile of an ideal date.

So maybe love doesn’t always follow the rules! After all, that kind of sentiment is inherently exceptional. Is there still a place for the old-fashioned rule-based dating? Sure! Given that you have a limited amount of time and can only date so many people, it makes a lot of sense to focus on those with whom you’ll be most likely to have a connection. However, one can only plan and predict so much. Sometimes fate just butts in …  

When it does, you have to be ready to just go with it. As my roommate’s boyfriend said, “When you find the right person for you, don’t let him slip through your fingers. When you find a person you can love, you gotta hold on to it with both hands.”

Even if that person is a freshman younger than your little brother.