Booty Calls
BOOTY CALLS
SEVENTEEN
JANUARY 2004
BY JULIA ALLISON
Tuesday morning, 3 am, my roommate was rudely awakened by an obnoxious suitor texting her cell: “Gettin’ late. Lemme know.”
She was more than half asleep, but she still had a good idea of what he wanted to know. Would she be coming over that night for a little nooky?
The answer was no. Still, “if he’d had more tact about it, I definitely would’ve been up for something,” she admitted.
Think you’ve never been booty called? Think again. It’s not always obvious. Phone calls, text messages, emails, voice mails, even instant messages – guys will communicate via satellite if it gets them action.
Communications made for the express purpose of hooking up, often with the aid of “liquid courage” (yep, that would be alcohol), booty calls occur most frequently on weekend nights from midnight to 4:30 a.m. Convenient and uncomplicated, they’re the fast food of the hookup world: you get what you want when you want it. It’s short-term satisfaction.
Whether you’re a Booty Call devotee (yep, you have speed dial and voice tags for your fave late night hookups), an occasional participant (you’ve given and received a few), or a virgin dialer (you’d start a No-Call List, but you don’t need to – no one ever calls you!), every girl should know what to expect.
WHAT THEY SOUND LIKE
The Basic Booty Call:
Tempting You with Stuff:
Sweet Booty Call:
The I’m-Not-Even-Trying-to-Make-This-Sound-Plausible Booty Call:
SO WHAT HAPPENS … THE MORNING AFTER?
Let’s be realistic. When carnal desires, chemistry, and darkness combine, just about anything can happen. Sure, your late night relations could morph into a friendship, or, in rare cases, into a future relationship.
On the other hand, he might end up spreading vicious rumors (or stories you’re going to call ‘vicious rumors’) and you could end up drawing his name on the bathroom stall of your choice: #1 A**hole [His Name Here].
Then again, you may forget his name altogether.
In the end, you should only accept or make such a call following much deliberation, with concern for the consequences and consideration of the feelings of your partner. It may not always be easy to toe the line between instant gratification and first-rate fulfillment – but you can get both. It just depends on what you want.
IS IT FOR YOU?
So you’re lusting after a certain guy. Should you take that call?
What’re you waiting for?
It’s your (booty) call.
SEVENTEEN
JANUARY 2004
BY JULIA ALLISON
Tuesday morning, 3 am, my roommate was rudely awakened by an obnoxious suitor texting her cell: “Gettin’ late. Lemme know.”
She was more than half asleep, but she still had a good idea of what he wanted to know. Would she be coming over that night for a little nooky?
The answer was no. Still, “if he’d had more tact about it, I definitely would’ve been up for something,” she admitted.
Think you’ve never been booty called? Think again. It’s not always obvious. Phone calls, text messages, emails, voice mails, even instant messages – guys will communicate via satellite if it gets them action.
Communications made for the express purpose of hooking up, often with the aid of “liquid courage” (yep, that would be alcohol), booty calls occur most frequently on weekend nights from midnight to 4:30 a.m. Convenient and uncomplicated, they’re the fast food of the hookup world: you get what you want when you want it. It’s short-term satisfaction.
Whether you’re a Booty Call devotee (yep, you have speed dial and voice tags for your fave late night hookups), an occasional participant (you’ve given and received a few), or a virgin dialer (you’d start a No-Call List, but you don’t need to – no one ever calls you!), every girl should know what to expect.
WHAT THEY SOUND LIKE
The Basic Booty Call:
“Come over.”
Well, on the positive side, I guess that’s at least straightforward … if not overly romantic.
Tempting You with Stuff:
“Hey, Wanna See My …?”
When my friend John found out the girl he was sweating was … well, sweating, he exclaimed, “Oh my god, I have air conditioning!! … Hey Molly wanna come over and sleep in the A/C?” And she did!
And then there was the guy who called my girl friend Nicky at 4:30 am, explaining he had two beers and “One of them could be for you.” She shot back, “Actually, I have a 30 pack – of light beer, thanks.”Tried and True:
“Wanna watch a movie and order pizza?”
Read: “I have my TV perfectly positioned so we have to lay on my bed in order to see it and my parents/roommate/next door neighbors just happen to be out of town so we can be really loud! Oh and the pizza’s for me after you go home.”
Sweet Booty Call:
“We can just cuddle.”
A girl next door type friend of mine received the following voice mail one evening. “Hi, this is John, do you want to come over and snuggle? Because I think you’re totally snuggly.”
Um … totally snuggly?
The I’m-Not-Even-Trying-to-Make-This-Sound-Plausible Booty Call:
“I want to see your shoe collection.”
Unless the caller is a your ambiguously gay guy friend, in which case, he probably does want to see if you really have those Prada loafers he’s been dying to borrow.
SO WHAT HAPPENS … THE MORNING AFTER?
Let’s be realistic. When carnal desires, chemistry, and darkness combine, just about anything can happen. Sure, your late night relations could morph into a friendship, or, in rare cases, into a future relationship.
On the other hand, he might end up spreading vicious rumors (or stories you’re going to call ‘vicious rumors’) and you could end up drawing his name on the bathroom stall of your choice: #1 A**hole [His Name Here].
Then again, you may forget his name altogether.
In the end, you should only accept or make such a call following much deliberation, with concern for the consequences and consideration of the feelings of your partner. It may not always be easy to toe the line between instant gratification and first-rate fulfillment – but you can get both. It just depends on what you want.
IS IT FOR YOU?
So you’re lusting after a certain guy. Should you take that call?
No, if you’re going to obsess about him and what it “meant” for the next year. Please. For your friends’ sakes.Point is, think it through. You don’t ever have to say yes. But if you understand the distinction between love and lust — and just want lust at this moment … well …
No, if you really like the guy. A booty call doesn’t mean he wants to date.
No, if you’re fairly sure his girlfriend is on your cheerleading team.
No, if you’re fairly sure his girlfriend is your sister.
Yes, if you know your limits and you’re up for a night of safe, non-committed sucking face.
Yes, if you both know it’s a Booty Call, accept that it’s a Booty Call, and don’t deceive yourself into thinking it’s something more than a Booty Call.
What’re you waiting for?
It’s your (booty) call.