Finding a winner on Craig's List
FINDING A WINNER ON CRAIG'S LIST
AM NEW YORK - "THE DATING LIFE"
BY JULIA ALLISON
NOVEMBER 21, 2005
There was a time, not so long ago, when I scoffed at the prospect of dating on Craig's List. Of course, that was before a roguish reader of this column posted a personal ad for me in the "Women Seeking Men" section of CL last week.
The posting, cribbed from my Nov. 7th first date tips for guys, was cheekily entitled "I'm a Picky Bitch, So What?"
Apparently "picky bitches" intrigue men (who knew?) – and my email inbox was flooded with responses, some sweet, some genuine, and a lot just bizarre.
Here are a few of the highlights from my favorites:
- "I am a little older than you, 43, but a young one. I have been told that I resemble Christian Slater but with less hair (slightly balding)." I just love when guys preface their 20 year age gap by explaining that they're a "young" fill-in-age. No. You just don't want to date women your own age, you jerk.
- "Work on wall st … used to model. Look better in person." I'm confused. If you used to model, well, then, wouldn't you look better in photos?
-"I am 40 … I have a new vespa. R u interested?" Um, only because of the Vespa, though. Not because you spell "are" with one letter.
- "You look like the athletic type … maybe a martial arts background. Am I accurate?" First of all, how would you know that from a photo of my FACE? And, no. You're not accurate. Hailing a cab is exercise for me.
- "Beautiful meets handsome … Can you picture yourself glued to my arm for an evening?" No … but I can picture myself hiding in the bathroom from you.
- "I'm 220 lbs (mostly muscle)." Good to know. I'll need your body fat composition if you want to get serious, though.
One guy asked me to dinner, writing: "I know a kickass place with the best Sesame chicken on the planet, or we can Super Size it." YEAH, now we're talking romance! SUPER SIZE that Sesame Chicken BABY! Another fellow attached a picture of his (AND I QUOTE) "alter ego" … Benjamin Franklin. Ummm … what am I supposed to make of that?!?
One eager emailer actually gave me his P.O. box, like, just in case I wanted to send him a care package or something. Huh?? And then there was the guy who sent a photo of himself – with A MACHINE GUN. Dear god.
Another fellow pasted his resume into the body of the text. As if that wasn't bad enough, it included (in the hobbies section!!) "long walks." I mean, seriously? Who puts that in their resume??
Finally, there was the man who attached a photo of himself in his office, with … a giant Bloomberg terminal. Some guys show off their abs, others their cars. This guy was like "check out my Bloomberg terminal, baby, YEAHHH!"
Only in New York.
Here are a few of the highlights from my favorites:
- "I am a little older than you, 43, but a young one. I have been told that I resemble Christian Slater but with less hair (slightly balding)." I just love when guys preface their 20 year age gap by explaining that they're a "young" fill-in-age. No. You just don't want to date women your own age, you jerk.
- "Work on wall st … used to model. Look better in person." I'm confused. If you used to model, well, then, wouldn't you look better in photos?
-"I am 40 … I have a new vespa. R u interested?" Um, only because of the Vespa, though. Not because you spell "are" with one letter.
- "You look like the athletic type … maybe a martial arts background. Am I accurate?" First of all, how would you know that from a photo of my FACE? And, no. You're not accurate. Hailing a cab is exercise for me.
- "Beautiful meets handsome … Can you picture yourself glued to my arm for an evening?" No … but I can picture myself hiding in the bathroom from you.
- "I'm 220 lbs (mostly muscle)." Good to know. I'll need your body fat composition if you want to get serious, though.
One guy asked me to dinner, writing: "I know a kickass place with the best Sesame chicken on the planet, or we can Super Size it." YEAH, now we're talking romance! SUPER SIZE that Sesame Chicken BABY! Another fellow attached a picture of his (AND I QUOTE) "alter ego" … Benjamin Franklin. Ummm … what am I supposed to make of that?!?
One eager emailer actually gave me his P.O. box, like, just in case I wanted to send him a care package or something. Huh?? And then there was the guy who sent a photo of himself – with A MACHINE GUN. Dear god.
Another fellow pasted his resume into the body of the text. As if that wasn't bad enough, it included (in the hobbies section!!) "long walks." I mean, seriously? Who puts that in their resume??
Finally, there was the man who attached a photo of himself in his office, with … a giant Bloomberg terminal. Some guys show off their abs, others their cars. This guy was like "check out my Bloomberg terminal, baby, YEAHHH!"
Only in New York.