A Valentine's Day for cheaters
A VALENTINE'S DAY FOR CHEATERS
AM NEW YORK - "THE DATING LIFE"
FEBRUARY 13, 2006
BY JULIA ALLISON
Monday is Valentine's Day for cheaters. Or so a friend of mine, one with a long and storied history of infidelity, mentioned to me recently.
This particular friend, who we¹ll call Steve (to protect the guilty), regularly schedules "business dinners" with his various lovers on the day before Valentine's Day, leaving him free to spend the actual holiday with his wife.
"Notice the proliferation of young women out with old men tonight," he says. "Probably not their wives."
Steve actually may be a little brighter, or more devious, than most cheaters. According to a recent Wall Street Journal article ("One Tough Day for Two-Timers"), private detectives in various cities across the U.S. regularly double or triple their adultery case load on this most romantic holiday.
Both the gumshoes as well as the divorce lawyers quoted seemed to agree that evidence of cheating is much easier to find on Feb. 14. But why are normally surreptitious two-timers suddenly careless?
Ruth Houston, author of the book "Is He Cheating? 829 Telltale Signs" explains, "All the cheaters have to make contact that day." The moral of the article: Stupid cheaters, plan ahead. (The irony that this article would be in the WSJ, beloved by corporate miscreants known for trophy mistresses, does not escape me.)
When I talked with Houston later, she expounded on how to catch a Valentine's Day cheater red handed. "Infidelity doesn¹t disappear on Feb. 14, cheaters just have to buy two gifts instead of one." So look for receipts, she recommends.
"If he bought two pairs of diamond earrings, you can be sure one wasn¹t for his mom. If your girlfriend has a new red lace teddy, it wasn¹t a gift from her sister." And watch for excuses, says Houston. Women often say they're going to visit a sick friend or relative while men consistently use office-related errands to get away.
If you DO find your significant other makes Bill Clinton look well-behaved, there's nothing wrong with a little revenge.
First, delete all music on his iPod and upload Whitney Houston¹s "It¹s Not Right (But It¹s Okay)." Set to repeat.
Then register him on www.dontdatehimgirl.com, the searchable database of cheatin' men outted by the very women they've cheated on. One woman posted "nasty naked photos" of her adulterous ex on www.Classmates.com right before his 30th reunion. Nice.
And finally, keep the diamond earrings. You definitely earned them.
Steve actually may be a little brighter, or more devious, than most cheaters. According to a recent Wall Street Journal article ("One Tough Day for Two-Timers"), private detectives in various cities across the U.S. regularly double or triple their adultery case load on this most romantic holiday.
Both the gumshoes as well as the divorce lawyers quoted seemed to agree that evidence of cheating is much easier to find on Feb. 14. But why are normally surreptitious two-timers suddenly careless?
Ruth Houston, author of the book "Is He Cheating? 829 Telltale Signs" explains, "All the cheaters have to make contact that day." The moral of the article: Stupid cheaters, plan ahead. (The irony that this article would be in the WSJ, beloved by corporate miscreants known for trophy mistresses, does not escape me.)
When I talked with Houston later, she expounded on how to catch a Valentine's Day cheater red handed. "Infidelity doesn¹t disappear on Feb. 14, cheaters just have to buy two gifts instead of one." So look for receipts, she recommends.
"If he bought two pairs of diamond earrings, you can be sure one wasn¹t for his mom. If your girlfriend has a new red lace teddy, it wasn¹t a gift from her sister." And watch for excuses, says Houston. Women often say they're going to visit a sick friend or relative while men consistently use office-related errands to get away.
If you DO find your significant other makes Bill Clinton look well-behaved, there's nothing wrong with a little revenge.
First, delete all music on his iPod and upload Whitney Houston¹s "It¹s Not Right (But It¹s Okay)." Set to repeat.
Then register him on www.dontdatehimgirl.com, the searchable database of cheatin' men outted by the very women they've cheated on. One woman posted "nasty naked photos" of her adulterous ex on www.Classmates.com right before his 30th reunion. Nice.
And finally, keep the diamond earrings. You definitely earned them.