As the first generation to grow up instant messaging (or furtively checking away messages.  Every 15 minutes. Until 4 am.), technology has seeped so deeply into our daily lives, we barely realize it.  But if you look carefully, it has influenced almost every aspect of our dating lives.

From the moment you first meet a possibility (whether they’re a date, future significant other, or someone you just want to see naked), you type their name into Google.  Then Yahoo. No luck?  My friend (the stalker) advises that you “try their name plus the state they live in.  Or their email address plus their college.”

Or you could just go straight to the good stuff – their Myspace, Friendster and Facebook profiles, where you can find out literally everything about him – what team he bats for, whether he wants “random play,” how often he and his friends play beer pong … or her – whether she still speaks to her exes (extra points if she doesn’t), her binge drink of choice, and what classes you’ll have to pretend to be in to talk to her.

Need more info?  Check out their Amazon.com wish list (the stalking tool of champions).  Just type her first and last name into Amazon to see what books / DVDs / questionable materials she desires.  (Also a good place to find out what she’s into – gardening, books recommended by Oprah, lesbians).  Not a bad way to choose her birthday gift, either.  Unless it’s the aforementioned lesbian books, in which case I recommend immediately scheduling a threesome.  It may be your only chance.

Beyond sheer information gathering, technology enables the phone-phobic among us to have entire conversations – through email, IM, or text messaging – without uttering a single audible word.  Besides, says my friend Meghan, “you can be so much wittier over text messages than you can be on the phone.”  I have to agree with her on that, although I doubt that adequately excuses telling my last boyfriend “I love you” for the first time … by text message.  Tacky?  Or the method of choice for the future? 

Mindy, a senior and the sex columnist at UC Berkley, thinks it’s the latter.  (FYI, I think it’s both.)  She started dating her boyfriend because he sent her an e-mail through Myspace.  “Sites like those take the pressure away from having to call,” she says.   While there is still a “big stigma” about dating websites, Mindy alleges, “there isn’t any when it comes to getting to know the people in your own school community better on sites like Facebook.”

The other benefit of “internet love,” as Mindy calls it, is that “it puts the emphasis on conversation and the written word.  If you can talk on AIM with someone for hours and
not get bored, you've probably got something going there and it’s not just physical attraction.”

Still, she admits that most of the fellow students she knows use the internet to “flirt randomly or hookup” rather than build a relationship (Shocking!  Do underage students drink beer as well?!?).  “It can be an exciting and mysterious way to meet people outside your circle of friends so there's no gossip when the affair is over.”  Oh Mindy, Mindy.  What’s the fun of breaking up with no gossip??

There are downsides to technology, according to Miriam, a sophomore and the dating columnist at Columbia University.  “It’s so much easier to hide behind the technological screen.  It’s not like you have to get someone's number the first time you meet them at the bar or at a frat party anymore.  You can always facebook them.  It's ridiculous.”

Still, she admits to “obsessively creating” her own Facebook profile and being unhealthily preoccupied with her email account.  “I guess it's the price we pay for modern love.”

Excuse me, I have to go update my Amazon.com wishlist.

Ah...the Internet. What did we do without it?