Waking up to the Wide World of Sports
AM NEW YORK - "THE DATING LIFE"
OCTOBER 2, 2006
BY JULIA ALLISON
To say I'm not a sports fan is a bit of an understatement. Besides consistently (and predictably) being picked last in gym class, I managed to live in Chicago during the Bulls 'peat-a-thon and never attend a game, and I didn't know who Terrell Owens was until last week. (Does that mean it's football season?)
In other words, dating a sports fanatic is my worst nightmare.
Crap.
To be honest, I used to think my complete ignorance on the subject was adorable -- charming even. I was, apparently, wrong.
"Not knowing used to be cute in the '70s," said Michael Wilbon, longtime Washington Post sports columnist and host of ESPN's Pardon the Interruption, "but it's not cute anymore. It's a total turnoff. It's so antisocial for a woman not to know about sports in this day and age. After war, the biggest stories in the world are about sports."
They are? Oops. Obviously I need to put down "He's Just Not That Into You" and turn on "SportsCenter."
Assuming the athletic-knowledge-challenged individual is female, which is a safe -- if admittedly sexist – assumption, what's a gal to do if she has a sports-lover boyfriend and she can't tell the Cowboys from the Capitals?
"If she's a 'good girlfriend' she'll make an effort to get into it," said Jon, 28, a lawyer, "But the girl who is actually willing to sit down and spend three hours watching a football game is very rare."
He'd settle for "somebody who follows the major headlines, who can tell me who won the last Super Bowl, who has a basic knowledge of how the game works."
(Hmm … Googling "2006 Super Bowl Winner" right now.)
Whatever you do, said Wilbon, do not walk into the room and scream, "Who's playing?" But other than that, men are more understanding than you think.
"We don't need them to be fanatics," he explained. "We don't want them to be. You can check in at the beginning of the game, then go shopping, get a pedicure, have lunch with the girls. We want you to know what's going on, but we don't want you there all day."
Whew. That's a relief.
Still, says Wilbon, "There's no girl who gets the attention of guys like one who understand sports. Except maybe a cute girl who understands sports. And Maria Sharapova."
I give up now.