Given, Playboy thinks everything goes hand in hand with sex, but they’re not off on this one.  In fact, it’s pretty simple equation, one well-known by not only Hugh Hefner but a few of his cronies (Larry Flynt, Felix Dennis … Jenna Jameson): People like to read about things they think about.  Students think about sex.  Therefore, students like to read about sex.

Is it really strange that unmarried, hard-bodied inhabitants of a world filled with bedrooms, alcohol and copious free time free from financial responsibilities like to … fornicate?  Or in lieu of that, read about fornicating?  If anything, it’s a shock that the student newspapers aren’t comprised entirely of sex columns.

So why is it that almost a decade after the advent of the first such column, we still can’t stop talking about them?

According to Dan Reimold, an Ohio University journalism professor and leading expert on the college sex columnist phenomenon, “These columns have the ability to both make people curious and get them riled up.  There’s something novel and fascinating and inexplicable about 19 or 20 year-olds breaking down sex in a way we never could have imagined in prior generations.”

Ah – curiosity, controversy and youthful prurience.  It’s starting to make sense now.

Even The Chronicle of Higher Education has weighed in on the topic: “Writing about sex for college readers can be exhilarating. Sex scribes – almost all of them women – often become instant celebrities on the campus. But there is scrutiny, too. A young woman who is independent, outspoken, and sexually confident might be seen as following in the hip footsteps of Carrie Bradshaw, the fictional sex columnist in HBO's Sex and the City. Or she might be scorned as sophomoric, a slut with a pen.”

Of course, being scorned as “sophomoric” when one actually is a sophomore probably isn’t the most intimidating threat.  But there are harsher comments, too.  In a 2005 article in The Atlantic, writer Sheelah Kolhatkar dismisses college sex columns as “raunchy, clumsily titled, and almost universally cringe-inducing,” and the columnists themselves as “baby pundits” and “undergraduate imitators” with “little experience and no special knowledge.”

Ouch, baby.  Very ouch.

“The constant search for fresh material to satisfy a voyeuristic audience helps explain why reading these columns, especially in large batches, is so wearying,” Kolhatkar continues.  “The faces change, but the sexual concerns remain the same: pornography and orgasms; the pros and cons of virginity and abstinence; sampling adult toys, ‘ex-sex,’ and sex with friends.  And the columns return again and again to the oldest and most banal campus challenge: juggling a roommate and a sexual partner.”

HA! … I would never write about those lame subjects…  oh.  Wait. (Reviews list of former college columns.)  Finds the following:

Oct 25, 2002 - “‘Just Friends’ Continues It’s Timeless Debate"
January 1, 2003 - “The Dos and Don’ts of Ex Sex"
October 17, 2003 - “To Do It or Not To Do It: The Virginity Question"
September 5, 2003 - “Three’s Company: Hooking Up When You Have a Roommate.”

Crap!!

So Kolhatkar isn’t wrong.  College sex columns do have an annoying propensity to repeat the same tired subjects over and over – or so it seems to the outside world.  But what that world forgets is that to these students, these concerns are brand new!  I look back at many of my columns and think “God, was I really so confused about that?  JUST DO IT WITH YOUR ROOMMATE IN THE ROOM!  Hell, ASK HER TO JOIN YOU!”  But at the time, the whole thing seemed overwhelming and bewildering and yes, worthy of a column in the student newspaper.

Was I an expert then?  Or a “sexpert,” as the case may be?  No.  (I’m still not.  Although I’m much closer!)  But I talked a lot about it.  I thought a lot about it.  I read a lot about it.  And hopefully I offered enough perspective and entertainment so that it became a worthwhile part of the paper, if only as a conversation starter.

As Mindy Friedman, UC Berkley’s sex columnist, said to me last fall, “The thing is, we’re still students.  We aren't going to have medical degrees; what we have to offer is a unique point of view. We’re putting ourselves out there to inform others that they are not alone in their sexual queries and quests to discover themselves!”

“So what if our articles are explicit - so is our behavior!” she points out. “Why doesn't anyone want us to write about this stuff?  Our writing reflects our curiosities, whether people want to acknowledge it or not.  So when they criticize our writing, they are criticizing our sexual freedom.”

As my dad (who grudgingly read my college column, hoping it was “just a phase” and I’d soon apply to law school) would say:  Boom!*

*Geriatric version of "Oh Snap!"

SIDEBAR: Favorite College Sex Columnists’ Quotes

• "I am still the first to advocate sex without attachment.  It can be done.  Hell, I've done it more than once."
  - Miriam Datskovsky, "On Sex, Desperation and Awkward Confessions," Columbia Spectator, December 12, 2005
• "Sex is the constant act: it involves a penis (or two), a vagina (or two), and sometimes an ass (or two). Monogamy is the changing factor.”
  - Miriam Datskovsky, "Thoughts for Another Day," Columbia Spectator, January 23, 2006
• "I have to confess, part of what makes writing this column so difficult is that I haven't ever gotten off from oral sex.”
  - Miriam Datskovsky, "Spitting, Swallowing and Some Other Secrets," Columbia Spectator, September 26, 2005
• “Does anyone know why we’re so damn shy about sex? … People — women get yeast infections! We need tampons! Condom commercials are necessary and — for goodness’ sake — all of these things are a part of real life!"
  - Marisa Picker, "Sex is Not a Dirty Word," Diamondback, (University of Maryland), January 31, 2006
• "The movement toward gender equality has progressed from suffrage to the workforce to sex. Perhaps a purple, waterproof dildo that suctions to the shower wall wasn’t exactly what Susan B. Anthony had in mind as a tool for female empowerment, but hey, whatever works, right?"
  - Marisa Picker, "Sexual Healing Makes Us Feel Oh So Fine," Diamondback, (University of Maryland), April 4, 2006
• "Admittedly, I have never dated a younger man. I have never even hooked up with a younger guy. … Then again, is such a relationship that bad? … Give the freshman guy a chance, you never know. He might be the next Ashton Kutcher."
  - Heather K. Strack, "The Younger Man, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Freshman Guys," Dartmouth Free Press, January 27, 2006
• "Granted, there is no polite way to wipe poo off the wall, but there are ways to deal with awkward situations in bed. Take for example, the enigma of the wet spot. This can be unpleasant, unless you're screwing on a Slip n' Slide, in which case, enjoy the ride. But normally, you have to deal with the spot, on the spot, or you'll end up with a collection of crusty zones. … And for fuck's sake, change the sheets before you get down with someone else. Don't think no one will notice your hard-baked fluids if you turn the lights off."
  - Mindy Friedman, "Bedroom Blunders," The Daily Californian (UC Berkeley), November 8, 2005
• "Let's face it: we all love orgasms.”
  - Sara Franklin, "Toying With Your Sex Life," The Tufts Daily, October 11, 2005
• “Think of sex like food … If you only ate peanut butter and jelly for the rest of your life, wouldn't you get bored? Yeah, I thought so. So free your mind, take a chance, and see what toys can do for you. For me and everyone I know who has taken the plunge, discovering toys has been enlightening and … oh... oh... ooooooooooooooooooohhhh... so gratifying.”
  - Sara Franklin, "Toying With Your Sex Life," The Tufts Daily, October 11, 2005
• "While a good cheese is easier to find than good oral sex, we don't deserve to eat good cheese if we can't appreciate it ... If anyone out there has more oral sex than cheese, you'd better be lactose intolerant or I hate you."
  - Sara Franklin, "The Great Debate," The Tufts Daily, November 8, 2005