« May 2007 | Main | July 2007 »

June 14, 2007

ShoeString Theory: How to Fake It 'Till You Make It

SHOESTRING THEORY HOW TO FAKE IT 'TILL YOU MAKE IT
TIME OUT NEW YORK
JUNE 14-19, 2007
JULIA ALLISON

I’ve been on all sorts of dates – some cheap (Queens!), some definitively not (St Barths!).  But as any veteran dater knows, it’s not the total outlay on your black Amex that makes a date extraordinary.  A bargain outing can seem extravagant, while the most expensive can be downright trashy (like the guy who showed me the bill for our super-pricey dinner because it was a “weird” number – $666.  Classy!).

So you can’t (or don’t want to) compete with some private equity guy’s tickets to the Met and helicopters to the Hamptons?   No worries!  Amir Blumenfeld, Ethan Trex and Neel Shah, the three twenty-something rouge authors of Faking It: How to Seem Like a Better Person without Actually Improving Yourself, have brainstormed solutions for just you, you cheapskate. Four Ways to Fake an Expensive Date:

1)    Take her on the Staten Island Ferry.  Cost: free!  Benefits: a view, a breeze, an ever-romantic tourist view of the Statute of Liberty.  “No tickets are necessary,” says Blumenfeld, “but print out a couple fake ones and hand them to the attendant when you get on the boat.”  Clever! “Then ask somebody where first class is, and before they get a chance to laugh, whisk your date away to the upper deck.”  For “bonus points,” he adds, recite the poem inscribed on the side of the statue.  Thrifty and an intellectual.  Show off.
2)    Convince her the cheap wine is amazing using your psychosomatic prowess.  “When the wine list comes,” says Trex, “frown and say, ‘Man, that must be a typo.  There's this fantastic bottle, but it's the second cheapest on the menu.  Someone's going to get fired over that!’ and order the second cheapest bottle.  It's a lie, but taste buds are extremely suggestible.”  As are women, apparently.
3)    Try a Picnic in the Park.  “It’s a known fact that women love cheese and wine,” says Blumenfeld.  (He is correct.  Also, sugar.)  “For the price of one dinner date you’ll have enough money to purchase a bottle of wine, organic crackers, delicious fruit, and a cheese wheel or two.”  Add some deli flowers and you’re a regular nature-loving Casanova, with enough cash to spring for Starbucks on the walk home.
4)    Do the whole “art museum thing” right.  “Pick an exhibit and do 20-30 minutes of online research about the featured artists and symbolism,” says Trex.  “Then tell your date you've been dying to see this show, casually dropping the facts you learned.”  The result?  “You'll look cultured and passionate rather than someone who was too cheap to take a woman to dinner.”  Clever boy.
Of course, you could always just take her to your parents’ house for dinner.  She won’t mind coughing up for her own JetBlue ticket – she’s getting to meet your mom!!  Ah, priceless and cheap.
 
But what if you’re afraid you’ve been bamboozled by a renegade cheapo?  Neel, Amir and Ethan recommend looking for the following signs.  Watch out if he/she …

1)    Always forgets his wallet.  Even when you've ordered delivery at his house.
2)    Says, “Let’s stay in and cook again! I have this new killer Top Ramen recipe.”
3)    Gives you flowers with roots and dirt coming out of the bottom.
4)    Says, “It’s only 80 blocks, and it’s barely even raining. Come on, let’s walk, it’ll be romantic.”
5)    Shares her studio. “You can’t convert that 12x14 space into three bedrooms,” says Blumenfeld.  “I don’t care how many towels you put up as dividers.”
6)    Convinces you the trash outside of a really nice restaurant is way classier than eating inside a mediocre place.
7)    Doesn't buy Internet service because "there's lot of free signal floating around.”
8)    Says the same thing about laptops.
9)    Makes you go through the subway turnstile with him to save on Metrocard swipes.
10)    Charges you a cover when you come over for drinks.

June 07, 2007

The Age of Sex

THE AGE OF SEX
TIME OUT NEW YORK
JULIA ALLISON
JUNE 7-13, 2007

From the trailer of NBC’s new reality dating show, Age of Love:

“These 40-year-old women have experience, confidence and sophistication. But what if they had to compete with a group of 20-year-olds to win the heart of one of the world’s most eligible bachelors? Will he pick a kitten or a cougar?”

Nothing like a little high-concept reality TV to start off the summer!

Admittedly, the idea of a “cougar” is so five years ago. And yet, it remains an inescapable part of both the cultural lexicon and the urban dating scene.

Forty-plus, confident, wealthy, with an (in)famously robust sex drive, the modern cougar rose to prominence in pop culture with Kim Cattrall, assorted Desperate Housewives and Stacy’s and Stifler’s moms. Reality television tried out the concept with leggy vintage bombshell Jerry Hall’s VH1 show, Kept (in which she picks a young stud to be her sexual plaything), and former trophy wife Ivana Trump’s Oxygen program, Ivana Young Man. (Her motto? “I’d rather be a baby-sitter than a nurse.”)

That neither was a runaway hit underscores the fact that we haven’t embraced some women’s steadfast refusal to stop being sexy after 40. And yet, here comes Age of Love, hitting us with a perplexing conundrum: “If given the chance to choose a woman in her twenties or a fortysomething on the prowl, will [a man] go for youth or maturity?”

First of all, why is it always the fortysomethings who are “on the prowl”? Have these producers never visited Cancun during spring break?

And maybe these so-called cougars don’t want anything drastically different from their fresh-out-of-college counterparts. “She doesn’t want to get married, cohabit or have kids,” explains 50-ish veteran cougar Valerie Gibson, author of Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men, “but she does wants a good-looking younger man on her arm and she does want to have sex!”

“Once a Cougar gets her claws into you, you’ll have that scar for the rest of your life and I say that with a big smile,” says Steve Santagati, relationship expert and author of The MANual, out this June. As an 18 year old, he hooked up with a woman twice his age. “Put it this way,” he brags, “younger girls may have perky chests, but older women know how to use their bodies.”

Ryan, 29, an artist, agrees. “They just want to use you because you’re young, in shape and have stamina—but being used is awesome.”

Hmm. Hot women in their forties using a gorgeous 30-year-old man for his body? I just may set my TiVo after all.